Politeness, Respect and Familiarity

In his 1987 dissertation on the grammar of Acehnese, Abdul Gani Asyik makes a very interesting point regarding that language's 'polite' pronouns that is worth reproducing here:

The term 'familiar' for Acehnese is misleading. This term is appropriate for English and many other Indo-European languages. In these languages,'familiar' has a positive sense, something preferred in a certain situation. When two persons have become close friends, they will use familiar terms towards each other, they will call each other by his first name. In a language that distinguishes between familiar and polite form of pronouns, such as French £a and vous. the familiar form is used in such a situation. It indicates closeness and friendliness.

On the other hand, the Acehnese kah and jih are words for insult that can start a fight if used to older persons or respected young persons, such as a teacher. These pronouns are only good when used by grown up persons to children, or by children among themselves. Even among children these words are used carefully. A small boy cannot use kah or lih to a big boy, unless he is a real bully. Children use these pronouns to each other if they are more or less of the same age. Some young men who have grown up together and have used these words since their childhood may continue to use them as long as they are still young and unmarried. As soon as a young man gets married, or gets a respected job or a respected position in the community, his friends cannot used [sic] kah or jih anymore to him.

So, the level of politeness in Acehnese pronouns has to do with age and respect, kah and jih are used based on age and respect. Therefore, these pronouns cannot be termed as 'familiar.'

I like the contrast he draws between the familiar T/V distinction (like, say, tu and vous in French) and the Acehnese system.  In both, a particular part of social interactions is made grammatical, but it is important not to assume that it is the same one.  So-'familiar' pronouns like Spanish "tu," or Turkish "sen" are used among family members and even between students and teachers when a sense of solidarity and friendship is meant to be conveyed.  (My Turkish hoca, Didar told us not to use the 'formal'  pronoun "siz" with her because it "make me feel old"!)

The Achenese 'respectful' pronouns, however, remind me of the situation in another Turkic language, Uzbek. Our teacher Malik aka told us that he must address colleagues even only a few days older than him with the respectful "siz" and never "sen."  If they are younger, it is the other way around, regardless of how close in age.  These two languages use the same pronouns to grammaticalize two different social values: familiarity-formality and humility-respect.

Of course both sets of social values exist in every culture, but they need not be expressed in language.  Acehnese and Uzbek chose one, Turkish and Spanish the other.  At first glance, it seems Japanese also codes humility-respect values into its grammar, but I don't know enough about the practical usage of the language to really make a educated guess here.  Any thoughts from the Japanese experts out there? (I'm looking at you, bro...)

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The above quote was taken from Asyik, Abuld Gani "A Contextual Grammar of Acehnese Sentences" which is available online.